The Darkness Jess before Dawn….Pt.1

If you’ve been reading blog, you must know that writing is a release for me. I pray that you all have something…one thing, that helps you center yourself. “The Darkness Jess Before Dawn” is going to be my short cut biography. I feel that with narrating my story, it frees me, not that I’m bound by anything but free in a sense that I’m holding back nothing.

I’m a Capricorn, the goat, and everything they say about Capricorns closely defines me. I was born in NY but grew up in Charleston, SC. As a child I walked, ran and explored the streets of downtown Charleston. My mother left my father up north after suffering from domestic violence. I remember vividly growing up among all my cousins, aunts and uncles. I remember fun, I remember love, I remember childhood.

At 16 my sister had my first niece, my first child, at the time I was 10. After she had my niece, I no longer had a big sister, I was the big sister. I transitioned from childhood to motherhood. My mother had expectations for me now. My sister slowly left my niece behind as she transitioned into a new lifestyle surrounded with drugs. So, at the age of 10/11 I was more than a pre-teen, I was an aunt with mother-like responsibilities. I too learned how to make bottles, change diapers and rock a baby.

Fast forward three years later, we move to  North Charleston, Dorchester Waylan to be exact, by this time my sister has had my second niece and we are living 8 to a three bedroom house. I was mentally overwhelmed, I was vulnerable for attention, I was independent so no one was checking. And just like that I became a victim……