Jess asking “Lord who prayed for me?”

Days of opening my eyes…no aches on me

Rolling over to love…Lord who prayed for me?

In no need of necessities, it took a while to see

My cup is at capacity

This PEACE encourages me

F A I L U R E    ISN’T     F A I L U R E    UNLESS    YOU    DON’T   L E A R N   FROM   IT

And life doesn’t teach lessons unless it hurts a bit

So look up for direction, and head high when you pray

Because Joy comes in the morning and troubles don’t last always…….

The Darkness Jess before Dawn….Pt.1

If you’ve been reading blog, you must know that writing is a release for me. I pray that you all have something…one thing, that helps you center yourself. “The Darkness Jess Before Dawn” is going to be my short cut biography. I feel that with narrating my story, it frees me, not that I’m bound by anything but free in a sense that I’m holding back nothing.

I’m a Capricorn, the goat, and everything they say about Capricorns closely defines me. I was born in NY but grew up in Charleston, SC. As a child I walked, ran and explored the streets of downtown Charleston. My mother left my father up north after suffering from domestic violence. I remember vividly growing up among all my cousins, aunts and uncles. I remember fun, I remember love, I remember childhood.

At 16 my sister had my first niece, my first child, at the time I was 10. After she had my niece, I no longer had a big sister, I was the big sister. I transitioned from childhood to motherhood. My mother had expectations for me now. My sister slowly left my niece behind as she transitioned into a new lifestyle surrounded with drugs. So, at the age of 10/11 I was more than a pre-teen, I was an aunt with mother-like responsibilities. I too learned how to make bottles, change diapers and rock a baby.

Fast forward three years later, we move to  North Charleston, Dorchester Waylan to be exact, by this time my sister has had my second niece and we are living 8 to a three bedroom house. I was mentally overwhelmed, I was vulnerable for attention, I was independent so no one was checking. And just like that I became a victim……