Jess Go

I’m a writer at heart but its mostly when my mind is full. So when I’m off and on blogging its because I’m running then stopping lol. Right now in this moment my heart is full my mind is heavy and my options are slim. I tried to fix it but ignoring it… no luck.. Tried to ease it by burning it… no luck…Tried to rid it by drowning it… no luck… So I’ll try writing it and then leaving it. Let’s see if that works.

You have to take the good with the bad

You have to walk out on faith

You have to just go for it

All of this is all good and cool for me but at this moment in my life, it’s not just me. So recently within the pass few weeks, I’ve accepted a job out of the country. The job is Teaching English in Doha, Qatar. Honestly, I have never even heard of Qatar before I started my job search. This is my story in a nutshell…

July 17th while in Luxor, Egypt airport awaiting boarding for a flight back to Cairo I met a girl who was telling my cousin about how she was living in Egypt for two years. Immediately in my mind I’m like wow Egypt for two years… why?? She continues by saying she was a teacher. Once she said that I was all ear because I’m a teacher (not sure if I ever mentioned that) and I love teaching! So she talked about her journey on how she got started and I literally took notes. In that moment I turned to my husband and said “Babe you want to do this?” He was all “YES”.  The next day I jumped on it with applications and researched. I filled out 20 applications but mostly for the Middle East in countries that I’ve never heard of! Countries like Abu Dubi, Oman, Qatar, Bahrain, Dubai but not Kuwait or Saudi.  My 1st choice was Qatar because of the size of the country, I wanted to go somewhere small 🙂 Fast forwarding… One week later, I was offered 3 jobs. One in Qatar, Abu Dubi and Japan. Since I originally wanted Qatar, I focused my time and energy there.

One week after meeting the girl in Luxor, I had a job offer. Two weeks later I had a job that I had accepted. I’m officially moving out the country on a 2 year contract. OMG! So next step was finding a job for my husband. My kids would go to school with me so that would be easy. However, the job search for my husband was the most stressful part of this journey. After a full month of searching and contradicting the choice. He had no job when it was time to leave. So, as a compromise, he decided to take leave from his job for one month to come and help me settle in. My daughter and him would take flight back exactly one month after we land then my son and I would stay. While my husband was here he would still search jobs and look so that they could possibly stay. This was such a hard time for our family because we have never thought that moving overseas was a decision to divide our family. 😦

Jess not today

I wish he knew how much I love him

I wish he knew how much it hurt

I wish he knew that I’m currently losing it

But I really need us to work

I wish he knew that I don’t trust love

Its not him ….its just me

Since I lost love so many times

Im struggling with insecurities

I wish he knew my direction was fucked up

One way going the wrong way

I wish I could say this all to him

But the right time doesn’t fit in a day

I wish he knew how sad I get

Well then again maybe not

Emotions that sniff weakness

Pride will fight it with all I got

I should tell him how I’ve been copping

But that may turn him away

Even though I wish this were possible

Some right time…

Jess not today

 

 

 

It Jess so happens…

Jess that fast I fell off from my blog but I’m back.

The past two weeks have been full of reflections. Reflecting on what’s wrong and what’s right…. what’s working or what’s failing…. what’s real and what’s fake…

Jess reflecting

I’m at the centre point where I’m literally straddling

I’m proud of where I am but I still want more

I’m blessed for what I’ve got but I still want more

I’m humble… but I’m still hungry

 

Who said chasing money is selling your soul

And made up that shit about glittering things not being gold

I get it the point …don’t follow the hype

Nothings wrong with checking if the numbers are right

 

I, Jess need more …………

Not Jess a Pretty Face

“Oh, these men….They don’t know nothing about love”

“One woman ain’t never enough.. what am I to do?” -K Michelle

 

The moment I start to feel played,

I stand tall on my defense

Shoulders back …building walls

Straight brick no wire fence

 

I’m a queen by blood

It flows beneath my skin

And a King is only that if

I decide to let him in

 

I’m cautious of who I love

I’m sensitive about that shit

If you slip he’ll try to sink you

Head up …pay attention sis

Jess felt the need

SOOOOO I haven’t posted in a few days so I felt the need to say something. I’m still on a diet towards my 15lb weight lost. My current plan is working out 3-4 days a week and eating on an intermediate eating schedule with a 1000 calorie max out. So far so good. This is definitely going to be a slow but productive way to get these lbs off! HMU with any questions or ideas on what I can do  to drop this weight! Y’all be bless!

Jess can’t take it!

So far I’ve lost 2 1/2 lbs on the smoothie diet! All good but I’m getting these awful headaches that I can’t shake. It started on day 2 and on day 4 morning I’m still waking up with them. So I’ve decided to walk away from the diet this time around. I Jess can’t take it! However if you were on this journey with me KEEP GOING! I repeat KEEP GOING! It does work! This morning I weighed in at 155.0. My goal is still 15lbs. I want to see 140 on my scale. So I’m going to keep continue working towards that! I’ll be posting meals and snacks 😀

Jess what the Dr. ordered! Smoothies 1-5

                               Day 1

 

3 handfuls spinach

2 cups water

1 apple, cored

1 cup frozen mangos

1 cup frozen strawberries

1 handful seedless grapes

1 stevia packet

2 tblspn flaxseeds

                         Day 2

 

3 handfuls spinach

2 cups water

1 banana peeled

2 apples cored

1 frozen cup of strawberries

2 stevia packets

2 tblspn flaxseeds

                         Day 3

1 handful of spring mix greens

2 handsful spinach

2 cups water

1 ½ frozen blueberries

1 banana peeled

1 apple cored

1 Stevia packet

2 tbspn flaxseeds

               Day 4

2 handful of Kale

1 handful of spinach

2 cups of water

2 apples cored

1 ½ cup frozen peaches

1 ½ cup frozen mixed berries

2 Stevia packets

2 tblspn flaxseeds

                 Day 5

3 handfuls spinach

2 cups water

1 cup frozen peaches

1 handful grapes

1 ½ cups of blueberries

3 Stevia packets

2 tblspn flaxseeds

               Day 6

2cups fresh Spinach

1 cup pineapple chunks

2 cups frozen peaches

2 bananas peeled

1 ½ packets stevia

2 cups water

2 tblspn flaxseeds